• you can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera
• you can spell kefalograviera
• you are an adult and you are forced to be with your family at midnight on new years eve
• your grandmother (mother/aunt) has a miracle cure for everything
• your mother (father) still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public
• you have ever been hit with a pandofla
• you can dance kalamatiano, tsamiko, zebekiko without music
• at every point in your life were not talking to at least one family member
• you must name your children after your in-laws
• you have at least 5 Maria's and 9 Dimitri's in your family
• the minute you meet another Greek, you decide to create a "Strateetzeek Plan" and open a "Biznis".
• Things immediately don't work out with you new partner, and you decide to go into business for yourself because "you know better than that malaka'".
• All the clergy you know sound like Bela Lugosi
• You have a crazy Uncle Aleko, who on holidays, still insists in re-telling the story of how he single-handedly (choose one) disarmed/fought/made-love-to/opened a business with, a (choose one)German/Turkish/Italian, (choose one) soldier/platoon/battalion/hospital nurse/tourist.
• Your Easter service sounds like Chinese New Year.

As a result of the above:

• you have the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou" burned into your brain
• you have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now
• you know what a komboloi is
• you know how to work a komboloi
• you have been threatened to be eaten by the baboola/yero/pontiki when you were little
• someone in your family owns any type of restaurant
• your family inheritance includes olive trees
• you can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" sandwich - "Re Tous vlakes!"

And the final test: Some Literal translations of Greek phrases guaranteed to keep you in analysis for years....

• Are you working me?
• You changed my lights.
• I did her from hand.
• Welcome my eyes the two.
• I've played them!
• I stayed bone!
• I saw the Christ soldier.
• It happened the come to see.
• Like the unfair curse.
• Something's running down to the gypsies.
• It didn't sit on us.
• He gives her to me.
• It breaks her to me.
• You owe me your horns.
• Who pays the bride?
• I don't know Christ.
• He doesn't understand Christ.
• Your mind and a pound and the painter's brush.
• It rains chair legs.
• I don't have face to come out in society.
• How from here morning morning?
• I don't know my blindness.
• I see it pale.
• This is dewatered!
• You are for the festivals.
• I don't chew.
• Does the goat chew taramas?
• Slow the cabbages!
• Catch the egg and mow it.
• Are we gluing coffee pots?
• Marrows drums!
• Marrows with the oregano.
• I made them salad - I made them sea.
• We became robes - Robe unbuttoned!
• He ate bunch.
• I throw you to the ears.
• Shit high and gaze!
• Milk rabbits and mow turtles.
• Holy Mary's eyes.
• I take them to the skull.
• Whatever you remember you are glad.
• Are you asking and the change from over?
• We confused our thighs.
• He farted me.
• Of the gay.
• She's taking him.
• The bad your weather!
• With this side to sleep.
• Your eye the cross-eyed!
• I am dog bored.
• We did black eyes to see you
• Like the snooooows!
• He made us the three two.
• I took my three.
• You are a shopping.
• Shit and fromshit.
• At the end they shave the groom.
• To say the figs figs and the tub tub!
• You reckon without the hotel owner.
• The madness doesn't go to the mountains.
• Better your eye goes out than the name.
• Will I take out the snake from the hole?
• He sleeps with the hens.
• He stuck me to the wall.
• I'm sitting on ignited coals.
• From here go and the others.
• You will eat wood.
• They returned me the entrails.
• He sat me on the neck.
• I balded! - You balded me!
• If ... [e.g. ARIS wins OSFP] ... pierce my nose!
• You ate my ears.
• Has the weather turnings.
• I do the duck.
• A cunt hair can pull a boat.
• He who has the fly gets flied
• You are a shitdog

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