It is one thing to have a strange and mystical fascination with the Conan movies, Harry Potter and medieval wizards, maidens and demons. It is another thing to know deep down, that you are a sorcerer who's been ousted from the fifteen-hundreds.
And what are you doing here? You can't make money, never could. You were always involved with turning raw materials into gold and cheated your way out of financial problems back then by pretending to be an alchemist and by cheating willing merchants by offering them pieces of fool's gold.
You can't attract girls anymore. But really, could you even attract those maidens back then? Come now. The only thing you could do back then, is offer the maidens services of fake redemption and possibly psychic blessings and predictions, which were as good as any lay man's nonsense. Besides, those maidens were never really interested in you. Only in the local resident prince.
You were only often asked back then to help the brave new princes of the times, to fight the dreaded Dragon. To fight the Dragon so that they could win Her. That was the only job you could really do well.
You know the Dragon I am speaking of, don't you? Oh, come now. You know what I am talking about, you useless bogus sorcerer. It was that, which always kept Her away from you.
Today even this job has become obsolete. You are a lame Mathematician, who tries to understand how the universe works and failing at that as well. Never mind understanding the Dragon, who, by the appearance of things, has taken unto the liking of such a complex creature that even much more powerful sorcerers are not able to stop him anymore.
Back then, you could occasionally manufacture a strong enough potion to keep the Dragon imprisoned for a couple of days. Then you could use this special spell that your sorcerer father left in his belongings after he died, which would allow Her to come into your dream world and stay for a while with you.
Today you can't even do that. You are certainly no venerable chemist and your dead father's spell is nothing more than a long forgotten Ph.D. thesis about engineering mathematics, sitting on a dusted shelf in your bookcase.
You yearn to be able to command the locals into oblivion or to force them to drop into a big sleep so you can have your way through a very efficient subconscious mind spell but instead you only see physical or monetary power excelling all around and you certainly are no trained athlete or banker.
You remember all those brave fighters who were your friends. Those Conan-like fighters who were gentle and forgiving with the weak, but brutal, efficient killing machines with the evil emperors and kings of those days.
Today, your only friends are either passive gay old college mates or women who "appreciate" your intellectual diversity and wisdom, yet when the time to choose comes, always fuck somebody else who has better genes with wild abandon. You know, the more handsome but stupid type.
Even the music you listen to, today, is wrong for Criss sakes. Look at what you listen: You like the Johannes Passion while everybody is grieving over the loss of a famous cockroach.
And while you are still busy trying to find THE recipe that will allow you to control the Dragon, he has gotten stronger. He has reached preposterous and demonic proportions by now: Right now he is sleeping in his cave, content, with full stomach, after having swallowed tens of hundreds of brave "warriors" who thought they could beat him and win the princess.
The Dragon has managed to even penetrate your own mind. You can now listen to his ridicule directly. "I am bored. Either you fight or I will oust you yet again...". And you know that fighting, today, means mustering up enough strength to have a face-to-face futile battle with him. And if this happens, next thing you know, you will be looking at the world from inside his belly.
So what are you doing? Have you decided? Are you going to fight the Dragon? So you ask various involved acquaintances what's the purpose of the Dragon BEING there in the first place.
"Oh, but it's just a metaphor, deerie...!", someone will exclaim.
"The Dragon is there to be beaten, eventually...", some other useless but perhaps wise sorcerer will remark.
"There is no Dragon. Your mind is the Dragon", someone else still exclaims.
Of course, most of such responses are pure, unadulterated bullshit. You know through aeons of experience, that the Dragon is real. And as of this century, he has managed to also effectively cloak himself so as for you to be totally blind in your efforts to fight him.
Fighting the Dragon is becoming harder and harder: Back then, you could conceivably use some of your magic power to temporarily either stall or disable his grasp. Today, the rules are different: The Dragon has eliminated magic from the game. The game today is money and/or fame.
Your old hat-tricks with fool's gold can't fool anyone, anymore. The imprisoned princess actually uses a more advanced method to choose her mates: From her high prison tower, she looks at the tax returns of all her faithful subjects. If the amount of income surpasses $100,000, you are put in a long waiting priority list. When the list approaches completion, she will whisper something secret to the Dragon and he will fall asleep for a time, times and half a time.
Then she will go out to her balcony and by performing a special dance spell, she will enter the dreams of those who are on the waiting list. If the warrior's priority is high enough, the dream may become reality and the warrior might even actually enjoy a few physical moments with Her.
The list also contains warriors of those who are famous. Warriors who by persistent effort have managed to create something worthwhile. Of course the definition of "worthwhile" is entirely princess-dependent as she is defining the standards for what's worthwhile and what's not.
Have you created anything worthwhile today, lame sorcerer? What have you created yet, sorcerer, that can impress the princess? Who can impress the princess?
The princess cannot be impressed easily. She is hard to please. She has seen it all. In her dreams. She has seen even you, lame sorcerer and what you can do. In her dreams. So do not seek her. She knows what you can and what you cannot do.
If she doesn't like a particular warrior, she will shut herself in that high prison tower of hers and put the Dragon on guard. And then I want to see you trying to approach the princess. Try to approach, young, brave fighter and warrior.
Many other more or less powerful sorcerers will claim that they have won over the Dragon at one time or another. Don't listen to them. They are fakes. I tell you, lame sorcerer, they have all been devoured by the Dragon. Their bones are there, just below the princess's balcony. Take a look, lame sorcerer. And be careful, lest you want your own bones to lie there as well.
What are you going to do now, lame sorcerer? Are you going to fight? Or are you going to sit there, behind your computer screen, pretending there is no Dragon?
And yet, even after you make the decision to fight, you will discover that there is no proper "way" to fight. This is not a gentleman's dual. You will not be handed accurate pistols or a bow and poisonous arrows.
How shall you fight then, brave, but lame sorcerer, now warrior? How can you fight, indeed, but with your bare hands and feet?
So, decide. And before you summon the Dragon for one last time, and while he is grinding his teeth in the princess's basement, remember, brave, lame sorcerer: You have won the Dragon at least once before. That's why you are allowed to fight him yet another time.
Can you feel it? Can you feel that this time is not your time? Do you come from a different time and place? Welcome to Hell. It's called LIFE.