It apparently fights Stelazine, and is described as an Anti-Parkinsonian for Parkinsonians, or as a relaxant for mental patients taking psychoactive drugs, which cause muscle interference.
However, I find myself "rewarding" myself with the damn thing every day. The doc said to take 2 mgs just before I go to bed to relax my legs. But it feels much better taking 4 mgs in the morning just before I go to school.
Oh, man, this feels good. I just had 4 mgs without Stelazine 4 hours ago, and am on the boundary between hallucination and reality. Looking out at the night sky, I can see small "flashes" which look like raptures. The central region of the rapture usually blinks like a star and then it disappears.
Moths, attracted by my room's mercury light bulb, enter and exit through the raptures continuously.
If I turn off the overhead light, I see on the ceiling small flashes of light and then immediately hear a mosquito's buzzing sound. The damn pests are using primordial black holes to come into my room, and they insist on biting me when my bloodstream is full of the drug. It is obvious that they have specialized in the area of food, getting only the necessary substances from the blood stream.
The environment appears slightly distorted. It's as if I am losing my balance. The whole world appears skewed by 90 degrees. It's as if there is a gentle earthquake taking place.
"Have mercy on us!..." the voices command. Hmmm, somehow the sick compiler of the voices in my mind does not seem to like the good feeling.
A week ago, I took 4 mgs just before I left for school and I swear, just about everybody in the bus was buzzed, and they were looking at me as if I was forcing them to hallucinate. Then, one of the passengers spoke:
"Don't lose control of it, because we will not be able to create something stronger for your case."
"Let me be now, as my mind requires not any additional processing.." Man this stuff is as close to Morphine as you shoes are to your socks.
It's an alternation: Stelazine forces the voice compiler to branch to address zero, thereby shutting off the noise. Akineton, enhances the compiler, but there is no pain from the voices.
Thank god we are still at 4 mgs. Who knows how high will I need to go. It's better than Tranxene. Tranxene fucks me up. It does relax the whole body, but it's a fucking poison that screws your brain real good. You wake up next day and need two gallons of water to flush the shit out. Plus it gives you headaches and you can't wake up in the morning.
Akineton is actually mellow. It is like Demerol or a small dose of heroin. It makes you want to just watch. Watch everything with your eyes wide open.
This is the test of a good drug: If it makes you wanna sleep, it's shit. If it makes you wanna stay awake and enjoy it, it's good stuff.
At the same time it deadens the senses except vision and hearing. Trying to masturbate while buzzed is futile. The maestro won't care whether you had the most gorgeous woman in front of you. It's about time this resolution came about. Sex is dead. For me at least.
The prettiest sight is being buzzed and getting out on your balcony to see the sunrise. Any minute now. It's 8 am and I am ready to get out and watch.
It makes you want to work. More work. Some of us really need this shit. 10 years of excruciating pain from the voices justifies its use.
And then, when buzzed, you have this strange conviction that just about everyone is taking drugs. Heh, I did not expect that. Is the pain *that* bad guys?
Anyway, it enhances the voice compiler so much, that even non-vocal sounds become voices. The sound of a tin water deposit tank on the terrace, next door, just said to me: "I did love you..unbeknownst to you".
"Oh, Jesus, fuck you Frosso. If you really did love me why did you go and marry this fucking loser? Listen to that: I lost the love of my life for a fucking bank employee making $700 a month, because "he treated her nicely when she had some bad times". What a load of crap. The bank employee was looking much further than "treating her nicely" during those times.
Of course, I still bleed so badly for her. It's as if I am the main member of a binary system, being a blue super giant and her being a neutron star revolving around it. The accretion disk consists solely of bits and pieces of my soul.
You see now, there are two groups of people. Those who are able to survive such a disaster, and those who can't. I can't really move beyond her, and it's been 4 years after the fact, and after two more women tried to repair the damage.
I think we all should agree that the course is now certain for those of us who are losers. And don't be mislead by the term "loser". My definition of "loser" is synonymous to being hit by a catapult of woman creatures, survive them all, and fall very badly for just one. So badly that you whole ego becomes a null for the rest of your life.
There is a very important lesson to be learned from such a case. First, women have a weapon that we don't have. Well, ok, two weapons. Some men get hit by the cunt, some get hit by the mind.
The mind is worse. Tasting a woman's body can be duly forgotten, if you engage in other productive activity. But tasting a woman's mind...forget it. She possesses you forever.
Ah! so here we have come full circle. So man was smart enough to invent something that eases even this kind of pain. The drug. Thank god for the drug. It does take the pain from the soul leaking away, but instead of becoming addicted to a human, you become addicted to a substance.
Think of it as a court case: Imagine the first mind in the beginning, questioning the validity of wanting to exist vs wanting to not exist. So the one devises a court case: Let us have a large sample population, and at the time of reverse engineering, let us ask all of them one by one: Dear traveler, what will you vote for now? Life, or non-life? The human soul contemplates the question a bit, summoning all the past memories and experiences, and makes a decision: "I vote life". Another human soul votes for no life. We are clearly dealing quantities here. The One, measures the "yes" votes and the "no" votes. If the yes votes are more, another major culpa, lasting 13 trillion years, so the One re-engineers the whole bang thing. If the no votes are more, a minor culpa where the One, falls asleep.
Yet, even in the later case, the One cannot stay asleep forever. It must wake at some time, because there is no such thing as non-existence for the One. The One always was, and will always be.
Getting back to Akineton, which by the way is the Greek word for "motionless" or "absolutely stationary". Maybe then, the One needs to consider the significance of its course being absolutely stationary? And if yes, how does one become absolutely stationary?
Absolute "stasis" is equivalent to death, wouldn't you say?
It is such a shame that some of us that would be great parents, have reached the stage of "stasis" or will choose stasis when voting. Don't get me wrong, life is nice. But not *that* nice.
What's more funny is that whatever you want, the One will grant you the opposite. You pray not to wake next morning? The One will wake you up refreshed, and in good health. You want to live forever? The One will curse you will all kinds of diseases and lameness.
I can go on and smoke ten packs a day, and the One will not let my heart fade. My heart gets stronger and stronger. My memory is becoming better and better. I remember more and more. I feel better physically. It's weird: I never felt so good in my whole life. Most people in my vicinity that have gotten cancer were not even smokers.
On the other hand, if you try to cling to life and want to be immortal, the One may curse you with some weird disease which will mess up your entire course.
This One thing is so strange. When you pray at night, if the One asks you: "What is it that you desire?" Don't EVER answer, "x, y, z". Because what you have NOW, is sort of a gift. The correct answer is: "I require nothing of you, great One. I am pleased with all that I am". Then the One will give you what you really desire. If you make the mistake of asking for x, the One will transport you to its abode and display in front of you the exact imbalance that your acquisition of x will cause. And the feeling of seeing this is not pleasant. At all.
I am happy with my new drug. I need this drug. And because I desire so much to terminate, the One continuously rewards me with inspiration and new creations. Maybe in hopes of me voting positive in the end. Well, I'll tell you what: As all of you have figured out by now, the only way the One can be certain that you will vote positive, is if it gives you two things: The love of your life (woman/project) and money. If you say, "work your stupid ass and MAKE the money", I reply, it will never work, if it is not *meant* for you to have lots of money. It will never work, if it is not *meant* for you to win the woman of your dreams.
Everything else comes short. Do I see many "no" voters in here? Yes, I do. I am curious to see what the "yes" voters will do during the sleeping culpa cycle. Because it is coming up.