The committee of the 12 cannot be fooled easily. You may whine all the time about how you would blow your brains out on first occasion because of depression, but they will perform their own tests first, if they want to find out if you really mean it.

What they will do, is put you in a real life situation by "simulating" real life conditions through your dreams. It is easy: They will present you with the opportunity to get hold of a gun, in front of you, and they will just watch your reaction to the situation in your dreams.

The problem with the "simulated" condition, is that the dreamer is unaware of the fact that they are in fact dreaming. You may be the best dreamer in the world, you may have concocted tricks that when performed you wake up, but no matter how good you are, you won't be able to tell that you are dreaming, when you see the damn gun in front of you.

So, if you have the guts to do it there, you'd do it here. If you do it there, the committee will be convinced that you *do* mean it. It is a "safe" test, as there is no real damage in this reality.

Three weeks ago, I was talking with a friend. He was desperate, and was crying in front of me. He at last exclaimed: "I have to go through with it finally..." and he projected a gun against his head. I exclaimed: "No!! You shouldn't do that!!.." and grabbed the gun away from him. And then I continued: "*I* should be the one to do it..." and pointed the gun against my temple, and shot.

Next thing I remember, was waking up refreshed. The brain could not cope with the new datum, as it has no experience on how to deal with an unknown situation, except to cause a shift in reality which would bring the subject back to the very basis of all reality, i.e., the one we are right now.

Oh, and by the way... There actually was no pain, and it was easier than I thought. Next week I will be moving to Crete, where illegal guns abound.

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